A head full of scrambled thoughts

I needed to continue from yesterday with Anky to see if I could figure out what was happening with her. I walked her around in-hand on the headcollar, asking her to stretch long and low, massaging her neck and trying to keep a nice bend to the inside. This was ok. I did the same thing using the bridle,  contact on the outside rein, asking for flexion to the inside. Not so good, a mixture of me not feeling the outside rein and my in-hand technique being pretty dodgy.  From the start, she's corkscrewed her neck badly on the left rein, and tipped her nose instead of giving correct bend, but from our ridden work I've realised that I have to have her neck very straight and good connection on the outside rein before asking for any bend inside. She finds it hard to accept the contact on that side. Recently she's been more accepting of the outside contact and I've been able to ask for an inside flexion with some degree of success. On the right rein, we have a reasonable contact on the outside rein, but get resistance when asking for inside flexion, so again resistance on that side.
I then put her on the lunge, starting with walking her around, letting her stretch and relax, then asking for a trot transition, wanting her to continue to relax and stretch down, but even though she responded well in the transition, the trot was braced, and she didn't look quite level. It was more of a 'holding herself' kind of stiffness, tight in the shoulders and not using herself well at all behind. I kept her going in the trot, out onto a large circle, bringing her onto smaller circles, taking her up the long side, and although she loosened a bit and looked slightly more free on the right rein, she was still tight and not quite right. I decided to really push her on and she rushed forward, brought her onto a circle to regulate the trot a little and then brought her down the long side over the poles. The first time, she rushed over them but the second time she regulated her own speed and really used herself over them. Immediately she looked better, I asked her again and she carried herself much more fluidly over them. I tried on the other rein and the same thing, started to use herself and , hey presto, she looked like a fully sound horse.
I've been trying so hard not to ask too much that I don't think I'm asking enough ( I think).
With this in mind (activating the hind end) I sat on for a few minutes, started with a long rein, lots of changes of direction, then taking up the reins, the balancing act of feeling the connection on the outside rein, keeping the neck straight,stretched out in front of me, asking with a lift of the inside rein until she gives me flexion, then allowing her to stretch forward into the hand. I realise that what I haven't been concentrating on was keeping the back end working. She's not been grinding to a standstill (not quite), but she's not been active enough behind. I think this was the problem yesterday, combined with the fact that I was probably asking for too much sideways. Today, as soon as she started to back off, sit on my leg, or became unsettled in her mouth/neck, I reminded her to use her back end and it was much better, more consistent.
It's basics, isn't it, I should know this. I'm not good at working alone and after re- reading this post I'm not sure if what I've written is right. I'm really struggling with this working alone, what I wouldn't give for a trainer who could watch my every move and tell me right there and then where I'm going wrong and when (if ever) I'm getting it right.
I'm going to start her stretching exercises again, which can only help.