:-(

Well, it's a bad day, hormones, age, taking it personally, overreacting, totally pathetic, ridiculous behaviour for a woman of my age!
Remy didn't want to go this morning, stopped at the neighbours when he saw him up a ladder trimming the vine and refused to go forward. It's understandable, the rational part of me knows that.  I'm pushing him out of his comfort zone, and he's a little worried about things. Paul led him past and we continued on up the track, through the wood to the road.. He was ok and Jim met us at the road. We crossed the road, but then he refused to go again, backing up, shaking his head. I got so annoyed with  him, annoyed at myself  for losing my patience, annoyed at myself for taking it so personally. Am I so naive to expect him never to say no, all horses go through this, don't they? But I feel myself getting impatient, I want to tack up, just go for a hack, have fun!! I think I've been fair with him, taken it slowly. Perhaps I've taken it too slowly, not done enough, not shown him enough. God, I don't know, I think perhaps, I'm too bloody old, too bloody sick of doing it on my own, and perhaps I just don't want it enough.
Anyway, I got angry and frustrated, The only redeeming thing about it was that I didn't take it out on him.  I got firm with him, but let him work it out, letting him halt, but then asking him again to go forward. 
The thing is, after a few minutes of working it out, he did go, in fact he went marvelously, we carried on and went for another km or so, down the lanes towards the village, tracks he'd never been on before, and although he was looking at things he kept going forward. 
So why am I focussing on the bad things? All-in -all, after a sticky start, he was pretty good today. Someone on a forum I go on said it only a few days ago, it's so easy to get frustrated when it means so much.
I really need to get things into perspective, it seems like a tall order at the moment.