Release

I've been thinking about this for the last few days.
When I'm riding Remy I ask him to release all the time. I want him to relax his jaw, give his mouth and also relax totally through this neck, in other words to make himself completely vulnerable. Well, he doesn't do it.  It's a big ask, so obviously, he has to be sure that I'm not going to abuse this most wonderful of gifts.
He relaxes his jaw when I ask from a lift to the corners of this mouth. I never pull back (try very hard never to pull back). As soon as he gives his mouth, I release the contact and allow him to extend his neck, or at least I thought I was doing this, but I realise I'm not doing it sufficiently/enough/correctly, whatever word fits the bill. What we have is a compromise - intermittent relaxation of the jaw, intermittent relaxation of the neck, but not a true, genuine 'giving'.
It's my fault, I'm slow to catch on, but over the last few days, I think I'm finally getting it. Hallelujah, says Remy!
I started in the stable a few days ago on a very wet, not fit for riding day. I took the bridle in and we did a few flexions. I stood at the girth and gently asked him to flex, then immediately gave and allowed him to stretch down. He started rather tentatively - he has this habit of flicking his lips when he's bothered by something - but as he realised that once he'd relaxed his jaw he could stretch down as much as he liked he started to relax and he became lighter and lighter, the muscles in his neck started to relax until they were lovely and soft and I could feel that he had really 'given'.  Giving, without holding through his neck is a big thing for him and I need to assure him that he can do it and he's going to be ok.
The day after, I took him to the school and we did the same thing on the ground and then a few flexions mounted, allowing him to stretch immediately he relaxed his jaw. He really tested me on this, just making sure that he was free to stretch, but gradually we had the same soft, relaxed feeling I'd had on the ground. We left it there as it was a horribly blustery day and I was proud of the way he focussed on me when there were so many things to distract him.
Today, back in the school, same thing, and Remy at first really testing me,  again making sure that he had the freedom to stretch, but gradually relaxing and settling, with a lovely soft feeling in the hand. I gave him lots of breaks to stretch, but inbetween there were moments that I find difficult to put into words, where he was in balance, motivated and the feeling in my hand was like holding air, a tangible energy and a delicate balancing act to try not to lose it. This training lark is so difficult and there are many things I don't know, but I know that for a few brief moments today, we were together!